10 ways to get the most out of counselling and therapy.
I’ve noted down some ways to get the most out of your counselling sessions, I hope you find this guide useful!
1.Consider why are you wanting counselling.
Before attending your first counselling session, it may be helpful to think about and note down your reasons for seeking help so you can describe your feelings to your counsellor more comfortably. However big or small you think your problems are, you can talk about anything that is on your mind. You may also find that you talk about things you had not expected to say.
A counsellor will always help you explore your circumstances and what led you to seek counselling, so do not worry if you are struggling to pinpoint the reasons you feel the way you do or make sense of life events.
2. Have counselling goals.
Knowing the goals you want to achieve in counselling can help you work with your counsellor to put strategies in place to achieve these. Goals are most useful when you feel comfortable being transparent with your counsellor and work best when you wish to make changes in yourself.
If your goals are vague, progress is less likely. Your counsellor provides a safe, judgement free space and can help you clearly define your goals and help you set realistic and achievable ones, so you do not have to do this alone.
Having goals to work towards leads to the best progress in counselling because it can help focus and shape the sessions and helps you remain accountable for what you want to achieve and to track progress you are making. This can motivate you to accomplish more in sessions and help you grow in self-confidence when you get satisfaction and pride when reaching goals. This can then give you the faith in yourself to be able to strive for more difficult and challenging goals.
3. Trust that your counsellor is not judging you.
Counsellors have years of training and this includes on their counselling skills including being non-judgemental and holding clients in positive regard. They are there to support you and know they are in no position to judge anyone else. Counsellors also learn through the repeated experience of hearing about (and understanding and empathising with) the struggles, mistakes and imperfections of many, many clients.
Interestingly criticisms and judgements that come up in the counselling sessions are likely to be from yourself, about yourself.
4. Focus on action and problem-solving.
Focusing on taking action and problem-solving to address your issues by working collaboratively with your counsellor can help you get the most out of counselling.
It can be helpful and necessary to express your negative feelings, to ‘vent’ to a counsellor who really listens and empathises. However, if you spend a lot of time talking about repeated negative thoughts about self or others without focusing on taking action to address the issues then less progress will be made and can even lead to you feeling worse.
5. Be honest.
Being honest with yourself about what you really want for yourself and how your issues are affecting you can be daunting and painful but being open and honest and voicing how you really feel ensures you can get to the root of your problems. Your relationship with your counsellor is very important and you will always be listened to non-judgmentally. Allowing the counsellor to hold a safe space for you to be brave and discuss sensitive issues lets you get the most out of sessions, so that you can make meaningful, positive and long-lasting changes.
Additionally, part of the counselling process is giving honest feedback to your counsellor about how you are experiencing the counselling and how you are working together. Any feedback, positive or negative, regarding your therapy will help shape it, so you can get what you need from the sessions.
6. Commit to the process.
Another way to get the most out of the counselling sessions is to fully invest and engage in the in-session and out-of-session activities you agree to do and to attend regularly. Making progress in counselling is no different from other areas of life where consistent work at learning and applying skills leads to growth and positive change. Your counsellor will work with you to make sure the type of work and amount you do is helpful and realistic and within your current capabilities.
7. Have an open mind.
Being open to new skills and ideas that are suggested can be hard to do because you could be stepping out of your comfort zone but sometimes trying something different, when what you are currently trying is not working, can make a huge difference to achieving your counselling goals.
8. Focus on you.
Comparing to other people is something humans naturally do. We also often make our decisions based on what we think we should be doing, or others do. However, focusing on what you can do to make things better leads to better progress in counselling.
Even if someone else is contributing to your problems, focusing on how you can respond to that person will likely be the most effective strategy for relieving your distress.
9. Recognise progress does not occur on a ‘straight line’.
Understanding that progress towards your goals in counselling does not usually follow a straight-line in a graphic sense. Accepting that things often get worse, before they get better and that there will still be bad days or events that can be a struggle can help you to see the bigger picture and not lose sight of that fact that you are making progress. Having these ‘dips’ does not mean you are ‘back to square one’ or take away from progress made and that overall, you are going ‘up’. Your counsellor can help with this, reminding you of the bigger picture and keeping you on track.
10. Make use of people in your support network.
It is possible to get fantastic results from counselling without involving others, but it can be much easier with support outside of sessions. Having a close friend, family member or partner to talk through what you have learnt or discussed in sessions, assisting with homework for example can help you be trusting of others, open and honest and can help you to sustain your progress and continue working towards a meaningful and fulfilling life, once counselling sessions have ended.
Wishing you the best in your counselling journey, may it be productive and a positive experience.
I can offer you a safe, non-judgemental, warm space to help you to explore, understand and give voice to your thoughts, feelings, emotions and experiences.
I invite you to get in touch to see how you can empower yourself to create positive change.