Masks in Counselling
In counselling we use the mask metaphor to describe how we present ourselves to the world.
Just as we have been wearing masks during the pandemic, we put our ‘masks’ on to protect ourselves from perceived threat or harm. We have a variety of masks or personas that we can put on for different situations and around different people.
When are masks helpful?
What mask helps you feel okay? Could it be a mask of confidence, of competence, of being good or something else?
Masks can be helpful for example if we are going through difficult times or if we feel we need to perform a certain role. If you feel in pain, not good enough or worthless the world is a safer place if we cover this up.
Wearing a mask will have served us well at some point in our lives, and helped meet our needs and kept us safe. But over time, if we continue to wear them, to keep this barrier in place, they can become heavier and harder to wear; it’s difficult to continuously feel like you need to act or be something different to what you truly are.
When masks do more harm than good
If you feel like you cannot take off your mask and show who you really are then you can lose touch with, and forget who you are underneath. Have you worn a mask during Covid for so long it feels hard to breathe? It is exhausting to wear a ‘mask’; trying to feel or act like one thing, but deep down be or feel something different. A disconnect will also be created, between your true self and the person you are trying to show to the world. This can lead to feeling unfulfilled, uncertain, and more severely unable to function.
Removing masks
It can be so scary to be mask free. In the current climate most people are preferring to keep their masks on because there is so much still unknown, the threat of Covid is still there. But now that the rules are relaxing in relation to masks, I invite you to explore the masks you wear, and consider what might be behind the mask, what might you be hiding.
What would happen if the parts of ourselves the masks conceal, the parts we see as weaknesses, that we fear others seeing were seen by others?
Do you think you would be not accepted or even rejected? In the vast majority of cases accepting all the parts of ourselves and allowing ourselves to be authentic only leads to positive outcomes; accepting and being our true selves leads to others deeply accepting us too.
Thanks to one of my lovely clients, I was recently reminded of an important perspective that I would like to share; we can choose when and how we wear our masks and the level of protection we want. Our only options do not have to be mask on or off.
If removing your mask feels too difficult to do alone, then Seed Counselling can help create a safe environment, where you will be able to lower and eventually take off your mask, to help you breathe freely and deeply as your true self.
It may feel scary, but you don’t have to do it alone.